Re-entry and Reverse Culture Shock Five Months In

Hi there,

I moved here to Cambridge, Ontario, Canada just over five months ago from Battambang, Cambodia where my family serve as missionaries. I lived there with them and serving with them for about three and a half years. So, when I moved back to the west I prepared myself for re-entry and reverse culture shock. I wrote a whole post about it too. Click here to read it. But after five months of living here how have I adapted? 

In my original blog post, I wrote about disorientation and disassociation. That has definitely stayed the same. Well, the disorientation went away but I definitely still disassociate. I have many homes; Australia, Cambodia, Texas, Quebec, Ontario. Home to me is more about the people, the familiarity and the way I feel safe in a place. It’s more about how I feel than actual place itself. Each of my homes are extremely separated in my mind. It’s almost as if they don’t exist simultaneously. I’m not sure why this happened. I tend to be very present where I am which often results, sadly, in me forgetting or ignoring my other homes. It takes a great conscious effort to take an interest in another home. It’s definitely not that I don’t absolutely love them! I really do! I feel great love and patriotism towards each of my homes and countries. I am so proud to be Australian! I deeply love Cambodia! I am just so focused on the right here and right now that I forget they continue to exist and move forward without me. I’m not sure how well I’m doing at communicating all this but I hope it makes at least a little sense! 

I love to go for walks... when we have nice weather!

I also talked about money in that post. I’m still not always the best at spending money. I’m not sure if it’s just me or my confusion. Some days, on some things I don’t want to spend money. But on other things, on other days I’m too willing to spend too much. I don’t always have a good idea of how much things should cost or whether it’s a need or want. It may also have to do with the difference in the value of money here. I make more here than I did in Cambodia. So, I may feel more willing to spend more. But things also cost more and I need to save more. Don’t get me wrong, I am getting much better at it! But, I’ve just had to adjust my thinking and it needs a little more adjusting. 

Also, I’m not sure if I will ever get over shopping here! It can still be quite overwhelming at times. There are so many options. I went into a pharmacy one day to buy some seasonal allergy medicine. There was a whole wall of different options for the same thing. I just stood there not really knowing where to look for about five minutes. There were different colours, sized boxes, amounts of pills, prices, ingredients and purposes. After about fifteen minutes of looking, I just grabbed one by a brand a friend had mentioned. I just wanted out. It was too much. It was hurting my brain. 

One day when the weather was super nice everyone was out for a walk!

I believe I also talked about how I read all the signs. Though not as strong it's definitely still a thing! I was walking through a park with a friend last week and I stopped mid-sentence and stopped walking to read a sign. I think it was something about private property or animals or something. It really wasn’t that important. But, my friend just laughed. She said, “You told me that you do that but I hadn’t actually witnessed it yet.” She was quite amused. 

Speaking of friends, making friends was kind of a challenge at first. It’s not the people! They were and are so amazing. The greatest blessing God has given me was a wonderful spiritual home and family. I felt so welcomed and I feel so at home now. I absolutely love this church and the people in it. Without this church and these people I know I would have struggled so much more. I may write a whole blog post about it. So, my slight struggle to make deep connections was all about me, not them! I think I struggled to put myself out there and reach out to them. I struggled welcoming myself into the group. But, I definitely feel a part of the group now and I am so grateful for them. I do find myself drawn to other missionary kids. It’s not that we talk about missions all the time. In fact, it rarely comes up in conversation. But there’s just something about the conversation that I love. It’s slightly different but I couldn’t tell you how. I just connect with them a little better, a little more naturally. 

Just a walk in the park.

I think that’s a pretty good updated and recap on how I’ve adapted to life back in Canada. It’s been a rollercoaster full of many ups and downs. I have been so incredibly blessed here in Cambridge. I couldn’t articulate how grateful I am to God who has taken such good care of me! When it comes to Texas I am halfway to my financial goal for school due to some amazing and generous people. I am also half way through my time here in Cambridge which is mind-blowing to me. I know that I will always have a home here and I’m so grateful that God placed me here. Until next time! God bless,

Darcy-Rea