Twenty Things in Twenty Years

Hi there friends,

Monday was my 20th birthday, and that means that it’s time for my annual birthday blog! Every year on my birthday, I post a blog about lessons I've learned throughout my life—and specifically in the last year. This is the 4th year I've done this, and it's always so good to reflect on the past 12 months. It's wild to see all that’s happened, what I've done, and how far I've come. Life is beautiful, and it’s moving so fast right now. This past year, in particular, has been precious and challenging. I've learned so much. Just last week, I posted 12 things that I learned at His Hill, and I’ve done my best to think of all new things for today’s blog. Without further ado, here are 20 things I've learned in my 20 years of life:

1. Weddings are expensive! This last year, I attended multiple weddings and even began planning my own. One of the main lessons I learned is that weddings are so expensive. So many tiny, intricate details go into planning a wedding. Have you ever thought about the color of the napkins or what material the chairs are made of? Tie or bowtie—or nothing? Round or rectangular tables? And it all costs money. But I honestly enjoyed the process.

2. Marriage takes more than love. I feel like so often in our day and age, people say things like, "As long as we have love," or, "All you need is love," or, "As long as we love each other." But from what I’ve been learning through personal reading and through my classes at His Hill, love is a choice and marriage takes more than love. In fact, I would say that all relationships take more than love. Friendships take intentionality. Marriages take honesty and communication. But most of all, it takes God! As I said in my last blog post, it takes God in man for man to be the man that God made man to be. I believe that this applies to relationships. It takes God in a relationship for it to be all that God designed that relationship to be.

   

3. I want to settle down and be stable. Between 4 countries and over 15 houses, I’ve lived a pretty nomadic life. I love traveling and seeing new places, but I’ve realized, over the past few months, that I don't want to live this way forever. I once thought that I'd always love to live like this, moving every couple of years. But I’d like my children to have a place to call home—a place they can always return to no matter where they may go.

4. I love studying things that I love. I used to think I hated school. I was never really good at it, and my struggles discouraged me. But as I spent the last year studying the Bible, I came to realize that I really do love learning about the things that I love. I so deeply cherished learning about God's Word, and now there's so much more that I'd like to learn about.

5. I have passions and want to pursue them. Something else I used to believe: that I didn't really have talents or passions. I knew I liked things, but I never thought they were interesting or important to others. Now I've fallen deeply in love with certain interests, and it’s been a blast to discover and passionately pursue them!

   

6. Love is hard sometimes. I’ve learned, this year, that one of the most loving things you can do is gently confront the sin in a person’s life. This can be terrifying. You risk damaging the relationship if your loved one doesn’t understand. However, I’ve learned that it can also strengthen the relationship. In our culture, we talk about “tolerance” and “just letting people be.” But how loving is it to sit back and watch someone dear to you as they wallow in cancerous sin? Love isn’t easy, but God never promised it would be, and ultimately it’s worth it! Galatians 6:1-2 says, “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”

7. It's okay to cry. I used to be afraid of crying. I felt like it was weak, and I didn’t want to be an emotional burden to those around me. But I cried more this year than any other year, and through that I’ve come to learn just how much my family and friends care for me. Vulnerability breeds closeness. Some of my closest friends are the friends I’ve cried with. Jesus wept too, and so I’ve learned that it’s okay for me to cry.

8. I'm afraid of judgment and failure, but I'm growing. Over the past couple of years, I’ve come to realize my fear of failure. I’ve written about this before, but during my time at His Hill, I learned a lot about boldness. We can be bold because in Christ we don’t have to worry about what others think of us. Christ and what He wants are all that matter. Therefore, in Christ, I can be bold. Psalms 138:3 says, “In the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul.” Serving and honoring God is my life’s mission, and I shouldn’t be so concerned with what others think of me. I can be bold in my faith!

   

9. Live in the moment and be present. I found that during my first semester of school I was so preoccupied with myself that I missed out on so much. I missed out on building deep and meaningful relationships. I missed out on making life-lasting memories. And I missed out on learning some important lessons. But during my second semester, I realized just how much I would miss His Hill and cherish these months. Once some distractions were removed, I was way more peasant. I became closer to people, made more memories, and learned so much more. Never again will we be exactly where we are right now! So enjoy where God has you at this moment.

10. Community and fellowship are important and beautiful. Once I became more present at school, I realized how beautiful the community I lived in was. It was a unique opportunity to live in close quarters with many amazing people. It taught me how important it is, as a Christian, to have a good community. At His Hill, there was always someone to pray with, worship with, or discuss the Bible with. There was always encouragement and support. I think this is so important as we deal with the world we live in as Christians.

11. I am forgiven, and I do not have to be weighed down by my past. Just like everyone else in this world, I have things in my past that I’m not proud of. But now I know that it’s okay. Jesus died for the sinful, broken, and dirty me. I’m not perfect, and He knew that when He chose me. He has forgiven my sins, and I can leave them in the grave where He laid them to rest. I can live free from the weight of my past! 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.”

    

12. Communication is key, and I suck at it! Through my relationship, I have discovered that I am not very good at communicating and communicating in a relationship really is key! Boundaries must be communicated. You must communicate when you’re upset or happy because, as I have been told, a person cannot fix something if they don’t know what’s wrong! So, I am trying to learn how to communicate with people better.

13. I deeply enjoy deep conversations. During my time at His Hill and living in community I was able to feast on deep conversations and I so enjoyed it. Sometimes you don’t realize you love or hate something until you try it! Now I hunger for these conversations and I’m so grateful for my friends with whom I can still have those conversations.

14. Jesus is my peace. I have struggled with worry, fear, and anxiety during some stages of my life. I’ve fought to find peace. However, we actually had to present a devotional to our whole class as apart of one of our classes. I was one of the first people to present and decided to do mine on peace because I was terrified. I so enjoyed the process of learning and putting it together and I learned a lot through it. It was still scary but I’ve learned that Jesus is my peace (Ephesians 2:14) and that His peace surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). 

15. I love working. I haven’t worked in almost a year at this point and I must say that I deeply miss it. I miss making money and providing for myself and having a safety net. However, not working has caused me to be more conscious of how I spend my money which is a good thing, and to trust God that He will provide for the needs that I do have!

    

16. Christ must be at the center of everything. I kinda said this in my last blog post but it is such an important lesson that I learned this year. This has impacted my life in the deepest way possible. I have learned what it truly means to allow Christ to live in and through me in every aspect of my life. I still fail and fall often. But, I know that this is a journey and I am learning.

17. Taking photos of people really isn't that scary. I have always loved photography but this year I have discovered something great about it! I was always really scared of taking photos of people. I was afraid people would hate me pointing a camera at them. However, I did the photography and media for His Hill’s youth retreat and it made me realize that people really don’t care like I thought they did. So, in my second semester, I took so many photos as I gained confidence. 

18. I love Chick-Fil-A! During all my time in Texas, I fell head over heels in love with Chick-Fil-A. It’s just so yummy and they play instrumental worship music in the bathrooms! Usually, when I fly from Canada to Texas I have a layover and the airport always has a Chick-Fil-A and I almost always go on my layover.

    

19. I really love using exhaustive concordances. I grew up very familiar with commentaries and the concordances you find in the back of your Bible. I have always loved using those tools but at His Hill I was introduced to exhaustive concordances and I love using them while I study the Bible. I find them so useful and ass a layer of depth to my study.

20. Rodeos are so much fun! When in Texas one must of course go to a rodeo and I was so blessed that my school took us. We walked around outside for a couple of hours looking at booths and animals (So cute!) and then in the evening we went inside to the arena for the main event. We watched a bunch of different events including bull riding, mutton busting, barrel racing, bareback riding, and wagon racing. It was such a fun day and I definitely want to go again one day!

This past year has been a wild ride and definitely did not end the way I was expecting it to. At times this was a hard year for me but it was also so beautiful and rewarding. Yet, I am so grateful for my twentieth year of life and everything that happened. I am thankful for all the people I got to meet and grow close to. I feel so privileged to have spent so much time at His Hill and learn so much about God and His will! I have learned so much about God’s will for my life too. So, during this unpredictable time remember that He is still good, He is still God, and He is still in control. He has a beautiful and perfect plan for you and I so hope that you find an indescribable peace in Him! Until next time friends,

Darcy-Rea