Beautiful Goodbyes

Hi there friends,

A lot has happened in the past week and a half. I wrote to you just after I came back early from spring break in Canada. When I came back to school I was told that it would be remaining open as long as the government would allow us to be open. I got back to Texas on the Tuesday (March 17th) and I was grateful to be back in Texas as many students chose to go home or not come back to school after the break. I didn't want to be anywhere else. On the Thursday (March 19th) we were given the news we didn't want to hear. The governor of Texas mandated that all schools in Texas would be closed for two weeks. They hoped that we could reopen after these two weeks and finish up our semester. But it would be re-evaluated after two weeks and we would abide by the governors mandate. For many students this meant they were going home and some wouldn't return. We were down to 25 students at this point. All of us who wants to stay or couldn't go home just for two weeks were welcomed to stay during this time. I was still so grateful to be in Texas at His Hill. I didn't want to be anywhere else. On the Saturday (March 21st) all the staff came to lunch and I knew some news was about to be delivered. I was really scared about what was going to be said. Our director informed us they had had had meeting with the board of Torchbearers International and that of the 25 Torchbearer schools world wide His Hill was one of the two schools that still had students! Therefore, Torchbearers made the executive decision to close all schools for the remainder of the semester. This meant that all students would be returning home.

As they were telling us this my eyes began to water. I had been so hopeful and yet no amount of hope can stop God's will. I was honestly heartbroken. I didn't want to go back to Canada. I wanted to be in Texas at His Hill. Tis was not how my year at His Hiss was supposed to end. I was supposed to have another two months of learning and adventures with my closest friends. I was supposed to be in Texas for the rest of my life. I was supposed to graduate in May engaged and two months out from my wedding. The last eight weeks had been so beautiful and I had grown so much. So, as I was overcome with emotion I had my Bible in front of me and I flipped to my life verse, Habakkuk 3:17-19 which says,

"Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will exalt in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places."

This verse has always been of great comfort for me in times of great trouble or distress. It reminds me that nonmatter what is happening in the world around me God is always the same and steadfast. I can always rejoice and praise Him because He is always good! I've had a lot of conversations about all this and I've come to some realisations. Firstly, God knew that this would happen all along (Psalm 139:4). As much as I was taken aback by this, it did not surprise Him. But, not only did know this would happen, This was His plan all along (Proverbs 16:9). We can make all the plans we want and yet it is God that determines what will happen. I can hope all I want but it is God's will that will prevail because He knows better than me. He knows that we have the tools to face whatever the world throws at us. We have faith and prayer and fellowship and His word. No matter where we are in the world He is with us and has equipped us to do His will (Hebrews 13:20-21). Next, I know that the hard times and suffering of now do not compare in the least to the glory and joy that is coming in the future! The pain you are experiencing now may feel like you're dying or your heart is being torn out. Trust me, I know tis feeling! I know it's hard to believe but all this pain of today does not compare to the glory we will experience in Heaven (Romans 8:18, 2 Corinthians 4:17, 1 Peter 4:13)! This gives me so much hope and peace knowing that I can endure whatever the world throws at me because I have a future with Christ to look forward to. Now if I have been taught anything at His Hill is Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." You see, on my own I am weak and poor. But, with Christ indwelling me He can live through me and I am made strong and rich. One of our teachers, Kelly, said that "It takes God in man for man to be the man that God made man to be." We as people on our own are like pens without ink or a car without gas or a lantern without oil. But with Christ in us we have ink in the pen, gas in the car and oil in the lamp. It is our purpose to have Christ indwell us and I don't have to be at His Hill or on the mission field or at church or with my family to fulfil my purpose. I don't have to be comfortable or capable to fulfil my purpose. I can fulfil my purpose anywhere God places me. A song that we sung often this year at His Hill is 'Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me' and I would highly recommend it!

On Tuesday (March 24th) I said my last goodbyes at His Hill. That last week at His Hill was so sad and yet so beautiful. It was full to the brim with prayer, worship, fellowship and reminiscing. We spent every minute we could together and prayed together more than ever. It was so beautiful and encouraging to see the body of Christ coming together and becoming stronger in hard, uncertain and discouraging times. I loved seeing everyone support each other and build each other up during these times.  We don't always realise what we have until we lose it. I've said hundreds if not thousands of goodbyes in my life. And yet these were some of the most beautiful ones. I'm not sure when or if I'll see some of these brothers and sisters again. But, I will always deeply cherish the months we had together. I am grateful, for the time we did have together. It was an honour to grow alongside each of these brothers and sisters. Even though the future is so uncertain, I am confident that I will meet each of you again in Heaven one day! I will finish this with the words of Winnie the Pooh. "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

until next time friends,

Darcy-Rea