My Testimony: 2019 Version

Hi,

Back in January of 2017, I told my testimony. However, testimonies are ever-evolving, ever-growing and ever-changing. As you grow and mature you see things that you've never seen before. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Meaning that so often we can only see what was really happening when we look back on it. I recently applied for Bible school and a part of that was a written testimony. So, I decided to share it here too. I've tweaked it a little and edited it to be a little more appropriate for this platform. Hre's a warning. My story is a really long, complicated story. But, I think that everything is important. A lot of my story requires a lot of explaining. So, here we go!

I had the great privilege to be raised in a solid Christian home. Church attendance was mandatory, even if we were on vacation. Modesty was highly encouraged. We were always involved in the church. But we moved a lot. I’ve lived in about 15 houses during my life, that I can think of! My mother is Australian, and my father is French Canadian. They met at Capernwray Hall. My sister and I were born here in Canada. When I was two months old we moved to Australia. Four years later my little brother was born. I remember praying salvation prayers in my bed as I fell asleep at night when I was about four or five. I prayed them over and over again. “Maybe I said something wrong. Maybe He didn’t hear that one. Just one more time to really make sure!” I don't think I was truly saved then. I don't think my little mind could comprehend what I was doing. I wasn't living for Jesus. I just wanted to go to a good place. But, I do believe I was 'marked' for Christ. 

My family back in 2005. I'm on the far right. 

When I was ten we moved to Quebec so we could live closer to my Dad’s family. They aren’t Christians, so we wanted to live our Christian lives out in front of them and witness to them. My parents also wanted us to learn about that side of us; the language and culture. This meant going to school in French and I did not know French before this. So, it was incredibly challenging. I am very social and talkative. Not being able to communicate with those around me was really discouraging.  My main priority quickly became fitting in and being accepted even though I couldn't always talk. This meant that I changed. I changed the way I dressed, the words I used, and I even got a boyfriend since my friends did. All to fit in. It got even worse once I entered secondary school in grade 7. My friends would let me borrow their clothes once I got to school and I would use their makeup. My parents also worked at Capernwray Quebec. My mother was the bookkeeper and my Dad did stuff to do with advertising (I’m not sure what his position was exactly). We found a fantastic church where my father became an elder. But, I hated youth group. The girls there disliked me for reasons I still don’t fully understand. I felt singled out, left out and left behind. I didn’t feel welcome at church because of this. I got baptised to try to be accepted because all the other girls were already. I thought that church should be the place where you feel the most welcomed and most loved. My friends at school seemed to care about me so much more. Soon I had two worlds. The me at school who tried to be cool and rebellious and the me at home which tried to be a good Christian kid. I just wanted to be loved so badly. Little did I know there were so many people around me that loved me so much already! 

You can’t be two things though. You can’t be in the light and in the darkness. You can’t serve two masters. You can’t be hot and cold at the same time. Soon the darkness started to seep into the light. My bad attitude made an appearance at home. I hurt my siblings and made my parents cry. 

One day my Dad came back from a Mission Fest where he had been representing Capernwray. He had met a man who ran an organisation in Cambodia. My parents told us that they wanted to adopt! I was SO excited. I love kids and always wanted a big family. They wanted to adopt a few children. A few months later my world was turned upside down. After some research, my parents found out that you cannot adopt from Cambodia. This is due to human trafficking issues. Some people are so desperate in Cambodia that they have sold their children. So, you can’t adopt. My Dad had just come back from another Missions Fest where he met the same Cambodian man. After much prayer and consideration, my parents decided that we were going to move to Cambodia to serve as missionaries. Since we couldn’t bring the children to us we would go to them. I held myself together for about two seconds before I crumbled and burst into tears. My world, that I had put so much effort into building up around me, began to crumble around me. I had spent so much time creating this fake version of myself just to be accepted. And I didn’t even know that wasn’t really me. I didn’t want to move again. It would mean that I had to give it all up and start over… again. Little did I know it was the best thing that would ever happen to me.

My family in 2013. I'm in the pink.

I was pulled out of public school and home-schooled in preparation for moving. They stopped working at Capernwray and we moved into our Pastor’s house for nine months. All nine of us were homeschooled. I got that big family I always wanted and absolutely I loved it! Soon I started to see how many people around me really loved me and I just didn’t understand. “Why would they love me? I didn’t do anything to deserve it? I hurt them!” We became even more involved in the church and I saw the people who cared a lot about me. Even if they weren’t the youth, I was loved there too. Slowly my walls began to come down and my fake self began to fade away.

We left Canada February of 2015 and spent two months spent in Australia. There I started an online school. By this point, I had officially lost all my friends. Going into Cambodia I felt so alone. Looking back, I wasn’t the only one struggling. We all were. I think we were being tested, challenged. But, we held firm. I lost all my friends (where I had put all my value) and my Dad lost all of the control (where he put all his value). We had to be totally dependant on God. After a few months we left the organisation we came with due to false promises and shady business. It made my parents question if they had heard God right in the first place. But we stayed and those hard times really strengthened all of us. Through that, we made some of the best family friends we have ever had. They were so incredibly hospitable, supportive and Godly people. I will never forget the example they gave to me and all they did for us. 

My sister and I in 2015

Slowly but surely I started to put my trust, faith and value in God instead of other people. It was a slow process and I don’t think it’s completely over. I started reading my Bible again and listen to more and more Christian music. It made me feel so much happier and more joyful even during difficult times. I had good Biblical conversations with my mum and sister. I remember one day about a year into our move I had this feeling deep in my heart and I had no idea what it was. I thought I should be concerned by it but I wasn’t. Looking back I understand what that feeling was. It was pure joy. Nothing could drag me down or take away the happiness I had rooted in my heart.

I can’t give you a specific and sure time or a day or even a month that I was saved. But I think it was around then. Some people have a moment they know they were saved and their lives completely change. And mine did. But just gradually. I used to not like my testimony. I thought it was boring and uninspiring. But, one day somebody said to me that we either have stories of great redemption or great protection. I can now see that mine is the latter and I am so grateful for that. Throughout my life, there were so many moments that could have gone so incredibly wrong. I didn’t have the best friends at school. I let the darkness take control of me at times. But, through it all, God had his hand on my life and was protecting me in everything. Only looking back can I see how much he was looking after me.

Some friends and I in 2017

I always wanted to go to Capernwray. But I didn’t know which one. When I was 12 my best friend and I sat down and looked at so many Bible schools and wrote a list of our top 3 choices. I completely forgot about going to Bible school as it came time to decide what to do after high school. I looked at serving on the mission field in Lebanon. God closed that door. I looked at serving on the mission field in Mongolia. God closed that door. I looked at going to The Justice School in Thailand. God closed that door. I looked at moving to Indiana, USA with some friends. God closed that door. God closed every door I looked at. I started losing hope and getting discouraged. One day I remembered Bible school and my top 3. But, I still couldn’t make up my mind. I figured since I didn’t feel drawn to any of them in particular that it was another dooring being closed. God told me to be patient, to just wait and trust him because he knows what his plans are for me. So, I waited. I graduated in November of 2017 and continued to wait.

Then, in January of 2018, we had a team come and I met my wonderful boyfriend, Noah. He’s from Texas and so that meant long distance. One day, I remembered my list again and I remembered that His Hill (Located in Texas) was on that list. At that moment I knew, I just knew, exactly what to do. The door had swung wide open. 

My family and I in 2018 before I left Cambodia

Through a series of amazing provisions that only God could have made I had plane tickets, a job and a place to stay in Canada. Things started coming together and in October I left Cambodia. I got to visit family in Australia I hadn’t seen in four years. I got to visit and meet Noah’s family in Texas. I got to visit family in Quebec I hadn’t seen in four years and then I landed here in Cambridge, Ontario. I met the lady I’m staying with for the first time when she picked me up at the airport. At times, I have been so overwhelmed by God blessings and provisions. He provided things for me that I didn't even know I needed or wanted. I didn’t pay for any of my plane tickets. I got a job (that I absolutely love!) the first week I got here. So many people including strangers have given me cold weather clothes when I got here. I have an amazing church that I feel so at home in. I am now working so I can pay for Bible school. I have faith that God will provide for this too. This past year has been so incredible and crazy and I can’t wait for what God has for me this year. 

Darcy-Rea Theriault

Noah and I at the end of 2018 in Canada