All this Distance

Hi,
Recently I've been struggling with what I should write about. I try to write a blog post that will interest my readers but that I am also passionate about. I always want to please you but also be proud of whatever I'm putting out there.  Usually, this means writing about travelling, a recent experience or changes in my life. But, today I decided to write about something a little more abstract. I want to talk about relationships. Specifically, long-distance relationships. This doesn't have to mean a romantic relationship. It can be friends that live far away or family that isn't close. These relationships can be extremely challenging. So, let's chat about long distance relationships!
So, you know how I said long distance relationships don't have to be romantic? Well, they can be. If you know me at all you'll know that I have a boyfriend and he's from Texas. That means he's 2122km or 1131miles away! We've been dating for seven months and during this time we've seen each other three times for a total of five and a half weeks. For the most part, I deal pretty well with the distance. The most difficult part of it all is when he leaves after a visit. We try to jam so many good times and memories into one visit and then all of a sudden we're back to texts and phone calls again. That's ruff. But, then the cycle starts over again. 
Noah Came for a visit recently.
My family also lives far away. The closest family I have are in Quebec, 594km (369 miles) away. But, my immediate family live in Cambodia! That's over 13700 kilometres away and 8500 miles! That's two days of travel. That's a long way! The most difficult part of these relationships is not knowing when I'll get to see them again!
So, what have I learned from the distance? 
  1. Intentionality is key! I find it super easy to not write to people. When people are no longer taking up a physical space in your life it's really easy to not talk, not hang out and not invest in each other. Therefore, intentionality is key! Set times. Set reminders. In fact, I recently got an app that will remind me to write to certain people that I find it easy to not write to. It's called Garden and you can set each person at different intervals. So, I can get a reminder once a week, every two weeks or every month. If somebody really means that much to you, you have to put the effort in to stay in touch.
  2. It requires trust! This mostly applies to my relationships with Noah. Your relationship will not survive if you do not trust this person completely. Being Nosey and naggy is never a good thing. The distance requires you to accept that fact that they have a life outside of you. They may not reply to a text right away because they may be hanging out with a friend or a work. This is not a reason to worry! 
A beautiful park I walk by almost daily.
  1.  It's a good test! The distance will really test the relationship! Are you trusting and trustworthy? Are you intentional and patient? If your relationship is true and valuable it will stand the test, it will make it through. 
  2. Time together becomes so much more special! When you don't get to talk to or see somebody you really love those things become that much more special and exciting. You look forward to things as simple as a phone call. Every moment together becomes incredibly valuable. Those moments become memories you'll cherish. 
  3. You've got more time for you! This is not supposed to be a selfish thing! I've been told over and over again that in a relationship it is very important to also be an individual. You cannot be only a girlfriend, daughter or friend. You also have to be you! If you were to ever lose the person you would be completely lost because your identity would also be gone. Therefore, the distance gives you a good opportunity to pursue your dreams and passions. It gives you the time and space to figure out who you are.  
Downtown Galt; blue skies and yellow buildings.
Just because you're apart doesn't mean the friendship or relationship has to suffer or end. If you put in the effort and know what you're getting yourself into then it will do quite the opposite. It will grow stronger and stronger. Given the effort and time, the relationship will thrive! I guarantee that there will be hard times. There may even be tears. But in the end, you'll come out stronger and stronger together on the other side. That's what I've learned from all this distance!
Darcy-Rea 

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